Trust The Process
I saw the best shirt of my life in 1987 when I was 8.
It was a black T-shirt. The sleeves and the bottom were fringed, making it totally tough-looking. But what really intrigued me was the message on the front, in cursive font: “If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if it does not come back it was never meant to be.”
So intriguing! My 8-year-old brain started to play through scenarios of what this could possibly mean. If you took the leash off of a dog, and it ran away and never came back…it was not meant to be, so just suck it up? I asked my mom who didn’t seem to have a satisfactory reply. I wondered, who would wear that shirt? So hardcore.
Fast-forward 30 years to today. Would I wear that shirt? I’d have to consider it. I may need to wait another 30 years before that wisdom fully soaks in. Don’t get me wrong I like idea of fringe. But what does it mean to truly set something free?
It makes me think of a technique I learned in Lightwork Level 1 Meditation. The technique is about consciously creating what you want. In last part of the technique you use the following message, “I would like this to be manifest if it is of my highest integrity and the highest integrity for all.” You hold the intention of creating the thing you want only if it won’t harm you, or anyone else. Then you completely let go of attachment. It feels so good to let go in this way.
I remember when I first moved to Vancouver I was looking for a place to rent. I did the conscious-creating technique in meditation, including that last crucial step of letting go. That weekend my roommates and I looked at two suites. One had such a horrible stench we could barely make it through the tour. Nope. The other was lovely. Wood floors, fireplace, great location. We put in our application. And waited.
The landlord said no. Application rejected. Somebody else got that beautiful place. We were so bummed! Where would we go? Not the stench place? Noooo.
I kept having the feeling I should walk down 3rd Ave, and sure enough, there was another suite for rent on that street. A little mountain view, reasonable rent by Vancouver standards, a newly renovated kitchen. This place was great! We said, “We’ll take it!” and the landlord agreed.
A few weeks later, I walked by the beautiful place we didn’t get. I could smell the fire before I saw it. The neighbouring house had burnt to the ground and ravaged the surrounding homes, including the suite we had admired but not secured. I could see directly into the suite, as the fire had eaten right through the walls. It was shocking. I was stuck with the knowledge that I had so wished for that suite, and now I was so grateful I didn’t get it.
It was a good reminder that sometimes even though I may really want something, but there may be more than meets the eye as to why I can’t have it. I’ve learned to trust the process, and allow myself to just let go.
Meditation Poem: Glorious
Another day dawns
Hopes and dreams awaken once more
Another spring is born
It suggests a future of Light
Another vow spoken
Integrity still alive
Another heartbeat
The reality of the manifest
Another being comes into body
The journey continues
Another sunray
Another dewdrop
Another morning breeze
Another glance to the sky
And Source showers down on all
With glorious abundance
Meditation Photography: Flower Code
My Lightwork Journey
About 10 years ago now, I moved to Vancouver from a northern Gulf Island. I was coming out of a tumultuous time; it was the end of a relationship. I was full-on soul searching and making a major course correction in my life. I was ready to let go of pretty much anything that stood in the way of finding a renewed sense of myself.
I moved to Vancouver to take the Lightwork Level 4: Transformation program. I felt hopeful about this decision and other big changes I’d made; I landed a new job and scored a great apartment, seemingly overnight.
Settling into the city felt like taking a plunge into a deep sea. It felt rattling, relentless, unfriendly and cold. I missed the green and wild of island life.
I couldn’t get over the realities of city-living, like hearing the pedestrian walk signal from my apartment, and feeling the thick concrete floor always beneath me. It was a new and different place to call home. And while I had deep sense that I would find my way, it was definitely one of the most uncomfortable times of my life.
In retrospect, I now understand the enormity of what that move represented. I was basically laying it all on the line, spiritually speaking. I needed answers to some important questions that had been plaguing me, and a way out of an unhealthy relationship pattern. I was doing major repair work, and everything in my life was changing around me. I was in the throes of an intense transformation.
At times I felt raw and vulnerable. Sometimes uneasy. Sometimes emotional. Yet simultaneously more comforted, more at peace and more free.
At some point, I realized that I was out of the woods, so to speak. And I was ready to give back. This was a wonderful shift.
Skip ahead to present time and my life feels quiet, strong and settled. I see now that it’s hard to witness one’s own transformation while it’s underway; it’s hard to know that it’s actually happening. But with commitment to a healing path, change does happen and pain is alleviated. It just takes a little while sometimes.
Now, as one of the Lightwork staff, it gives me great joy to teach meditation classes and give energy healings to others. This past year I’ve had the honour of assisting the current Level 4: Transformation students as they dive into their own self-healing journeys. What a thing, to see the process full-circle, and now be in a position to offer support. I am immensely grateful. I can’t think of anything more satisfying.